the struggle within
by Musiclover3364
Summary: the story is about clexa and the struggle they go through to get the love story they deserve.
1. Chapter 1

As Lexa walked through the woods she knew she had to be quite or her small group of gona wouldn't eat but her mind was busy thinking about the stupid sky girl who infuriated her more then anyone. Who did she think she was standing up to heda like that Lexa should have killed her. And boy did she want to. Clarke. The only think on Lexa's mind as she hunted her pray, not only did her thoughts make her shack with anger but so did the aggravating deer that she was tracking. The animal was mocking her at every turn and it was pissing her off more then anything. After another ten minutes of she gave up and throw her knife at the tree in anger letting out a cry that surly scared the deer she was hunting. She retrieved her knife and walked back to camp defeated, when she got back Anya was sitting there trying not laugh at her commander. "how was the hunt heda?" Lexa turned at her general and threw her knife with deadly accuracy. If it wasn't for Anya being as good of a warrior she is she would have definitely bee hit by it but she garbed the knife out of the air and laughed "that good i see, ryder and nix go hunt for food. Heda and i need to talk." she commande, the warriors bowed there heads with respect for the general and went on there task.

"Heda?" Anya tried but Lexa was throwing knifes at a tree hitting her mark every time. "Lexa come on talk to me" she tried again. Lexa let out and animistic gr awl and turned to her former first. "you know if weren't who you are i would have you killed for laughing at me." Anya just laughed at Lexa not moved by the threat to her life "come on lex what has you all whined up it? Its much more then just then just coming back empty handed?" Lexa just looked at her. She let out a sigh she knew that anya would make her talk and she wondered if anya would have a suggestion of what to do with the annoying sky girl. With a sigh of defeat she let out one word "Clarke" anya just looked at her in confusion "Clarke?" she whisper back not sure who her heda was talking about then it hit her "ohhh the sky girl. Why would she have you so tightly whined?" she asked with a look of curiosity. "she... well you see... umm.." Lexa tripped over her words,not really sure how to explain her mood without giving the true reason for her frustration. Anya just looked at her, her lip twitched in a small smirk that Lexa almost missed but she knew anya to well. The glare she sent to anya would bring even the bravest gona to there knees but anya just let out a breath and then fell into a fit of laughter mocking Lexa without a single fear for her life.

"Oh god no" anya tried to get out through her laughter. "yeah laugh it up Anya, i bet you wont be laughing when i order you to clean the stables when we get back" Anya intensity straighten up from her hunched position she had falling into from laughing. " you wouldn't" Anya let out a glare crossing her face. "try me" Lexa glared back "okay okay" Anya said with her hands up in surrender "lets see if i can help with your troubled mood, Lex tell me whats wrong?: Lexa looked at anya not sure if she should trust that anya wouldn't make fun of her again. With a sigh Lexa looked up at the Grey sky and told Anya "you will let me speak and will only talk after i am done" anya let out a sound of acknowledgment. Lexa dropped her shoulders "who does she think she is deifying me like that in fount of everyone i should have killed her for the way she talked to me, but i just couldn't. There's something about her that just gets to me with her eyes. They are so blue like a clear summer day and her blonde hair kissed by the sun, she makes me crazy and i don't know what to do. The way she looks at me makes my heart skip a beep but i can't do anything about it because well love is weakness and the 12 clans already hate skikru if they find out i have a weakness for Clarke there will be war for sure the ice nation will not stand for it and i cant just remove her from my life.

Anya just sat and listened to Lexa like she said she would and watch how with every word heda slipped away till all that was left was Lexa the girl trying to run from her feelings because of that asshole and all that her put in her head. It made Anyas blood boil to see Lexa look so helpless. But before she could say anything on the matter Ryder and nix came back with food so she sigh and stood up tomade a fire so they could cook the meet they brought back. As she walked by Lexa she put her hand on her shoulder to tell her that they would continue when they were alone once more. Lexa reached up and grab Anyas hand to keep herself grounded. to keep anya there so she could control herself and slip back into heda. Lexa looked up and met Anyas eyes and Anya nodded knowing exactly what Lexa needed. Lexa let out a sigh of relief extremely grateful for Anya.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

later that night Lexa was feeding her horse shadow, a beautiful black mare and the fasted horse they had. "there you go girl eat up, we have a long ride tomorrow". Lexa told the horse. As Lexa was teanding to her Anya walked up to her "heda take a walk with me?' she asked. Lexa looked up and met her eyes "sure we can do a check around camp at the same time." Lexa told her. Anya bowed her head

"Lexa may i speak freely?" Anya asked wanting to make sure that Lexa was okay with her bringing but the sky girl. Lexa let out a sigh "i cant really stop you even if if i tried" Lexa told her. When Anya looked into her eyes she saw how defeated Lexa looked. Her heart hurt for the girl not only was Lexa her heda but she was like a sister. When Anya took her on as her second Lexa as only 12 and had no family to speak of her mother was killed in child birth and her father died a warriors death in a war with the flowkur. Anya took her under her wing and showed her everything she knew so to see the young nightblood so troubled really hurt Anya.

"about Clarke" Anya started, Lexa glared at her but Anya kept talking "listen young one and actually hear my words. If you care for Clarke then do something about it don't let anyone tell you you cant because unless you forgot but you are heda and you do as you please. Wouldn't it be good for our people to see you happy. Every warrior i know has a love even myself has had some to love. And i know that you haven't had the best of luck with love but Lexa you have such a good heart. That is so full of love and its a damn shame if you shut yourself and don't let that love show." as Anya finished talking she looked at Lexa and saw tears in her eyes "i thought you hated and didn't trust the sky people." Lexa said through her tears. "yes i don't trust the sky people under the leadership of that arrogant sky bitch but if they where under Clarke they would be great ally. Clarke has a strength that not many have and to be completely host i think that she is a great match for you heda not only as hesa but as Lexa. You have lost yourself young one and it makes my heart bleed that that fucker has made you lose your heart."

Lexa took in Anya,s words. She looked up to the night sky and let a breath "you really think so?" Lexa's voice was so vulnerable and small and Anya had to stop walking because the last time she heard Lex like that was when Castia died and Lexa drank herself to sleep in Anyas bed. When Anya came home she found her out cold she thought she was dead but as she touched her she woke up and cried to Anya all night. Anya grabbed Lexas arm to stop her from walking. She looked right into Lexas eyes as she said "if i didn't believe it i wouldn't say it. Lexa you are like the little sister i never had and all i want in this world is to see you happy and if that is from Clarke then so be it don't let anyone take that from you okay?"

"thank you for your words Anya i will definitely take them to heart, we better get back to camp before we worry anyone" Lexa said pulling herself together. All she could think about was Anya's words and those beautiful blues eyes that make her heart jump.

Sorry for the short chapter and the long wait. i actually didn't think anyone liked this story, i don't really know where i was going with this so if you have any ideas i am happy to hear them. I am a new writer and just looking to better myself in my passion.


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